Death_to_stock_communicate_hands_2.jpg

Made-up stuff

How I entertain myself, sometimes.

 

Wanted: Logistics officer

We are a dynamic enterprise serving clients across the world. We’re looking for a logistics expert to join our staff. You’ll oversee a team in charge of global package delivery. Responsibilities include processing orders,* determining deserving clientele, and mapping annual delivery route. Holiday overtime required.

*Unfortunately, this is still done via paper submittal.

Must haves:

  • Affection for large animals and small people
  • Comfort with isolation

  • Affinity for cold weather

  • Belief in magic

  • Familiarity with MS Office Suite

Nice-to-haves:

  • Child-like hope

  • Sense of wonder

  • Ability to envision sugar plums

  • Knowledge of reindeer games

  • High tolerance for milk, cloying sweets, and repetitive music

Now accepting resumes and cover letters from applicants ages 1 to 92.

Send to:

Santa Claus Lane

North Pole

Laura Rees