Made-up stuff

How I entertain myself, sometimes.


Things the off-planet Regional Manager says when he visits your space station.

  • “What do you mean the native population has mind control powers and nuclear weapons? Come to me with solutions, not problems.”
  •  “You need to start looking at things like an ‘atmosphere that’s toxic to human lungs’ as opportunities, not challenges.”
  • “More manpower? Start turning a profit instead of losing entire landing parties to native mind control, and we’ll see about staffing up.”
  • “Back at Earth Home Office, we never run into these kinds of issues. Know why? Good management.”
  •  “Are you reusing paperclips and printing double sided?”
  • “One big concern I have is that almost none of your mind-controlled crew are accurately filling out time sheets. How can you run this station efficiently with no data?”
  • “I hear you about the rations, but good news – everyone in the station gets one of these polo shirts with the Interplanetary Union logo. You’re allowed to wear them on casual Fridays under your haz-mat suits as long as you donate 5 credits to charity. It goes to feeding the undernourished native populations. We’re all about giving back to the communities in which we live and work.”
ListLaura Rees